To My Love
by Xenolord
Summary: Continuation to the ShoujoAi chainstory DarkAngel874 and I have been working on. I've been lazy recently, I know, and I apologize. Sorry about that wait, hope you enjoy To My Love. AngstxRomance


Disclaimer: I do not own Artix Entertainment.

To My Love

Four of Battleon's Elite, the Guardians, sat around a small, circular table, each with five playing cards in their hands, all engrossed in a game of Poker. Playing the part of dealer was Serras Nerra. She sat at the head of the table with a small, neon green dealer's visor on her head. Beside her was Natalya Despair, the eldest of the Despair sisters. Next to Natalya was her sister, Maria, and seated next to Maria was the only male at the table, Wolfblitzer.

"Ya know, I just had a thought." Wolfblitzer muttered, looking up from his cards. Natalya peeked over her hand, muttered some response, then repositioned two of her cards. "I was just thinking that, in effect, poker is a very boring game. I mean, what's at stake here? What do I have to look forward to if I win?" He reached over the table and began touching the wagers. "I mean, look. A bag of two hundred gold, Natalya's sword, a pair of someone's underwear, I mean, whoopidee-freakin'-doo. Well... the sword is nice... And I am kinda scrap for money... but the underwear? Come on."

"That's not just anyone's underwear, Wolfblitzer." Maria muttered, a smile crossing her face.

"Yea, about that, does Valencia know you have a pair of her panties?" Serras asked, looked across the table.

"Ask me if she cares." Maria replied, putting her hand down. "Now, are you done jammering on, Wolfblitzer? Can we play now?"

"All I'm saying is we should up the ante some. I want something interesting when I win."

"When?" Natalya asked, Serras, Maria and Natalya laughing. "You mean big if."

"Whatever, you know what I mean. Come on, whaddaya say?" He almost begged.

"If it will shut you up, what did you have in mind."

"Well, how about if... Ooh! The winner has to tell everyone their darkest secret."

"Oh, yea. That'll last all of five minutes. It can last as long as their someone who hasn't won yet." Serras muttered. "Note to self. Wolfblitzer is no longer designated the team Think-Tank." A thought seconded by everyone else, except the said Wolfblitzer.

"Yea, but it'll be fun while, help pass the time, at least" Maria muttered.

"I'm with the little sister. Alright, everyone, fold, and we'll pass up."

-

Everyone passed their cards up, re-shuffled and Maria redealed the cards. The new game with a new bet had begun. The first hand, no one had the balls to play, and everyone folded in unison. Being no winner, they redealed. Finally, everyone got the courage to play, and Maria won.

"Fudge..." She muttered. "Alright... I suppose you all want to hear my darkest secret, huh?" Everyone nodded. "Alright. What I'm about to say NEVER leaves this room, alright?" Again, another nod. "Okay. A couple of years back, I was in town. Now, keep in mind this was... oh... a week before I met Safiria. I was in town, and I saw Natalya here, just milling around town, doing shopping or some such. Well, I watch her for a bit, follow her and... that night... I had... unhealthy fantasies about her..." Natalya's grin turned to a grimace of udder disgust.

"Oh my god, EW!" She shouted, covering her face, burying it in her hands.

"That's why I was so pissed when we met! I still feel unclean..."

"Whoa... that's hot..." Wolfblitzer called. Serras reached across and slapped him across the face.

"Bad boy. Down." She told him. "Next game." She continued.

Everyone returned the cards to Maria (Natalya too incoheirent to move.) and she re-delt the cards. They began to play again, and after a long, drawn out game, the victor was finally decided to be Natalya.

"Aw, man!" She shouted, throwing the winning hand down. "Fine, have your dirty little secret." She muttered, sitting back to think. "Well... I don't really have any dirty secrets, if by dirty you mean dirty like Maria's secret..." She shuddered.

"Look, we already covered this! I didn't know you were my sister at the time! God, sin once and you never live it down." Maria called.

"Incest shouldn't be a sin..." Wolfblitzer muttered dreamily, his head resting on his hand. Both Natalya and Maria reached across and slapped him silly.

"Anyway, continue, Natalya." Serras replied.

"Okay... Well, I have gone through my life, living it a lie. As most would lead you to believe, I, too am a lesbian, like my sister. But, that's not as deep as it goes. Several years ago, I had a party. Some drinks were involved, but I thought myself to be in control of certain urges. Well, by the end of the night, I was a drunk as an empty bottle of vodka. Well, me and several of my friends got together and had a very... interesting night. None of us were in our right mind, and I don't think any of us knew what the hell we were doing... but we all kinda... spent the night together, not wanting to go into any gratuitous details. I woke up with more then one part of my body hurting."

"Nice..." Serras mused, smirking.

"Nice..." Maria echoed.

"Nice." Wolfblitzer piped up, but was quickly silenced by a stern stare from Natalya. "Right. Shutting up."

-

The next round was played, and having won once already, the two Despair sisters had folded out of the match, so it came down to Serras and Wolfblitzer. A small smile crossing the former Mage of Despair's lips, she put her hand down.

"Well, I'm out."

"YES!" Wolfblitzer shot up in victory. "Win by default!" The three girls smiled. "Ah, crap. Winning was bad wasn't it?" The girls nodded. "Ah... fudge muffins..." He slumped back in his chair. "Right. Shall we re deal?" He questioned, trying to worm his way out.

"Oh, no, Wolfblitzer. You've yet to tell us your secret."

"No way I'm getting out of this, is there?" he asked. No one budged. "Ah upstream swimming carps... Okay, fine you win. As some of you may know, Wolfblitzer isn't my real name. It's a name I've adopted over the years. Do you know why?" Maria answered.

"Your real name sucks?"

"You hate your parents?" Serras asked.

"Little of both, but more of Maria's response. My birthname is..." He muttered something inaudible. Serras looked coldly at him. He sighed, sucked in his pride, and responded. "My birth name is Angelica." He diverted his eyes. It took several seconds for the other people at the table to get what he had just said. As soon as it hit them, the entire table exploded in a crazed frenzy of laughter. The only person who managed to remain in their chair was Maria, and she was hunched over on the table, her head down, her fist pounding the surface as she tried to regain control of herself.

"PLEASE tell me you're joking us. Please tell us that that's not true."

"Ever seen the Guardian Roster? How there's a Guardian Angelica Wolf, but not Wolfblitzer? That's because Captain Krieger told me I couldn't register under an assumed name. I told him not to tell anyone. So far, he's been pretty good."

"That is some grade-A gossip right there!"

"Yea, and so is your fantasies about your sister, Maria." Wolfblitzer retorted.

"Can we NOT bring that up again, PLEASE?" Natalya cried. "I had just got it out of my head until you said something about it again, idiot!"

After the laugh of Wolfblitzer's real name subsided, the cards were collected once more and redistributed amongst the four players. Play could once more resume. The following few games proceeded without any decernable winner. Much time had passed between when the four began playing at the current time. Finally, as the sun began to set through the window, a winner was finally decided amongst the four. Serras.

"Ah, crap." She muttered. "I was trying to avoid that. Any secrets I may have held, I have all but forgotten. Is there something else I can do instead?" She asked, looking sheepishly towards the Sea Foam haired Guardian.

"Well..." Maria muttered, thinking. "I may have one thing, but the three of you must leave the room whilst I finish the preperations, alright?" She questioned, looking at everyone. Confused, but understanding, the three did as they were told, standing and exiting to the north.

-

Locking herself inside, Maria had spent the next day thinking about whatever it was she was thinking about, and at dinner the next night, she had emerged and approached Natalya and whispered something in her ear, inaudible to Serras. Natalya chuckled and nodded at the suggestion, and Maria had approached Serras.

"Alright, Serras. I've made a decision. If you don't want to front your deepest, darkest secrets, then there is something else you could do. You're human, and as such, you should have a secret crush on someone, right?"

"Maybe. Why do you ask?" She replied, shifting her weight on her rear foot, ready to make a dash for the door.

"Okay. Your task, whether or not you choose to accept it, is to approach said person, and ask them on a date. Should they refuse, you shall be given a reprieve. Should YOU refuse, you shall be executed."

"Not literally, I hope."

"No, just your image amongst the people of Battleon will be shattered into a million tiny pieces and no one shall hold you any higher then that of a mound of dirt so long as you live. Basically, it would be too easy to kill you, so we'll just embarrass the living daylights outta you. How's that sound?" Maria smiled.

"Great... Just great, Maria."

-

Serras sat in her room in the Guardian Tower. It had been over four hundred years since she had been human, really human. _Completely_ human. When the Mage of Despair took over her body and mind all those lifetimes ago, she had lost everything she had held dear. Her friends and family were long dead, and the man she was promised to, all but a fading memory. The last corporeal memory she had of her former life was that of her own sister sealing her within the crystal to be forever lost. Come to think of it, her sister was the only person who ever knew anything about her feelings. Even in those last few days.

As sleep slowly began to overtake Serras, memories she thought she had lost forever came flooding back.

-Darkovia. Four-Hundred and Seventy Seven Years Ago.-

"Fools!" Serras barked to the massing mob of townspeople. "What gives you the faintest idea you have the strength to destroy me?" She laughed loudly and placed her hand before her, open towards the people. "Pathetic." With this world, her view was blocked by a wave of blue fire, overtaking everyone before her, incinerating them into ash. "Pathetic." She echoed, turning to leave. As she turned, she came face to face with a ghost of her past. Her older sister, her name long forgotten.

"Serras? How could you?" She breathed. "All those people... You... killed them. Why?"

"They were weak, Nat. Weak! Weakness should have no place in this world!" Serras responded.

"Weakness? And what about you? Does killing people make you strong? Do you feel proud of yourself when you murder people? Innocent people."

"No one is innocent, Nat! No one! Innocence is a lie humanity wears to protect their own hides!" She shouted, throwing her hand to her side.

"Oh, is it? Is that how you view me? A weak-minded sinner?" Her eyes began to water. Serras approached her sister, wrapping her arms around her neck.

"No, dear sister. You are the same blood as I. You have a place, a purpose. You can be great, you can rise to any challenge and conquer it. Just as I have. I've shed my mortal weakness in exchange for strength. All you have to do is to come with me..."

"And become a murderer!?" Her sister shouted back, breaking out of Serras' grip. "And kill people for no other reason then for being human? For being mortal? No..." She muttered, stepping back. "You've changed, you're not Serras anymore. You're not my sister! I don't know who you are but..." She diverted her eyes, then returned. "YOU. ARE. NOT. MY. SISTER!" She shouted, her voice echoing in the night. "And I've come here to stop you." She produced a small, pointed crystal from her pocket.

"What are you going to do, Nat?" Serras asked, taking a step back, chuckling. "Kill me?"

"No, Serras. That would be too good for you. You'd like that. I'm going to make you suffer. Just as you made me suffer."

"How could you?" Another voice called from beyond the trees. Serras turned to see a familiar face staring at her. It was a woman with long black hair, wearing a long silk red dress.

"Ah. Hello, Safiria. Come to chide me again, have you?" The figure was that of a much younger Vampire Queen Safiria. She looked to be somewhere around eighteen or nineteen, most likely before her embrace. Safiria shook her head slowly.

"No. I can't chide you any more, nor would I want to. Words are wasted on you. It's you and your ilk that bring sadness and chaos to Lore. I would take no greater pleasure then to see you banished. Take comfort in this, however. When Despair finally catches up to you. I'll be there to watch the entire thing."

"You foolish little girl! I am immortal! I will not die! You could expire waiting for me to return from where ever you send me, and mark my words. If this does work, I will come back, and I will come to find you, your daughter, your lovers, whoever. And they will suffer a fate worse then death, worse then damnation... worse then life itself. Mark. My. Words."

"Words well marked, Serras Nerra. Marked, and they shall be forgotten when you are." Serras, the present-day Serras, gasped as she studied Safiria's face. The pale queen she knew today was younger at one time. She actually had the visage of life to her skin, a visage of life which was all but lost in her undeath.

"Do your worst." Serras muttered, returning to the flashback. She spread her arms and smiled as her sister approached her with the crystal. "Oh, sorry." She said in her distinct sarcastic tone. "Change of mind." She backflipped away from her sister and landed on a tree branch.

"Whoever you are in there! Let my sister go!" The woman shouted. Serras shook her head.

"Sorry. I can't quite process that request. You'll have to wait until next business day." Serras grinned. Suddenly, she felt someone tackle her from behind and knock her to the ground. "Sonuva!" She shouted, trying to find out who it was. She managed to wriggle around in the person's grip to turn around to see who it was. "Micheal, you traitorous maggot!" She shouted.

"Natalya! Do it! Now!" The man called Micheal shouted to the woman with the crystal. Serras began to squirm to try to free herself. Her sister began to speak in some odd language, Taladosian it sounded like. On the last verse, she pressed the crystal to Serras' chest. In a brilliant light, she found herself sitting bolt upright in bed.

-Present Day.-

Serras wiped the sweat from her brow and chest, a slight twinge of heat still where the crystal was pressed against her. Everything she thought she had lost slowly began to come back.

"Micheal Despair..." She muttered... Looking to the door. "Maria's ancestor..." She sighed. "Safiria... Natalya my sister... all dead to me... No one even remembers who I was before... all that..." She pulled her legs closer to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, shivering against the cold. "I don't even know who I am..." She put her head on her knees. "Who am I kidding? I know exactly what I am. A monster in the body of a ghost... That's who." She paused to look out the window. Night had fallen and the moon was a waxing crescent. She felt a tear roll down her cheek. Everything she had thought she known was gone in an instant, and here she was, almost five hundred years in the future, and no one to hold, no one to confide in, no one to keep her warm at night... No one. The first tear was accompanied by a second, and soon a third. This was the first time she had cried in her life, and it was over a silly little thought. She pulled the covers away from her body and kicked them away. She didn't deserve to be treated so well... After all she had done to these poor people...

-Years Ago.-

"YOU INSOLENT ENGRATE!" Serras shouted, redirecting the attention of a certain X-Guardian to where it should remain. "You could have escaped with your lives intact! BUT NO! You had to make the mistake of attacking me! Well. We'll just see how long our hero can last, shall we?" She heard herself choke out the word hero, the very thought of such a person gagging her. The X-Guardian yawned bored.

"Sticks and stones, Magey girl. I've heard them all. Nothing can affect me. Insult wise. Oh, and your move." Serras felt her face explode in a torrent of rage-induced flame. If there was anything she hated more then being hurt, it was being mocked. And that was exactly what Maria was doing. She felt herself thrust an open hand out, calling her blade to her. The long weapon slid out of the ground and came to rest in the palm of her hand.

-Present Day-

The memories of those years ago when she awoke from her long slumber jarred her once more awake. The dreams were horrible... all the times she hadn't had control of herself, all those people she had hurt, all the lives she had taken... it was all too much.

Looking once more around the room, she saw the sun peeking over the window sill across the horizen. Her face was cold, the open window blowing cold air across the dried highways of tears which crossed from her eyes to her neck, the eventually to her chest and shirt. Why had she been crying? What had brought on this flood of old memories, ghosts and phantoms of the past... what was the significance of them all. More faces of the past, both Natalya's, Maria's sister and her own... images of the present-day Safiria and the one she knew all those years ago. Micheal and Maria Despair... Why? What the hell had brought this on? And more importantly, how the hell does she stop it? The voice of her sister echoed in her head as she had said those hurtful words years ago.

"What do you want?! Huh?! What the hell do you want from me!?" Serras shouted, throwing the covers from her. "WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!" She jumped out of bed, shouting again. "I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING! LEAVE ME ALONE!" She grabbed the chest of drawers from the corner, hoisted it over her head and hurled it in some direction, the mirror on it shattering on the wall, raining shards of glass across the floor. "I'M NOT THAT WOMAN ANYMORE! I'VE CHANGED! I'M NOT A MONSTER ANYMORE LEAVE ME ALONE!" She felt her lungs become rasp. She grabbed the frame of her bed and pulled, flipping the entire frame five times, the wood eventually splintering into tiny shards on impact with the stone floor. "I JUST WANT TO LIVE OUT MY LIFE! LET ME DO IT, GOD DAMNIT!" She charged towards the bar in the corner, picked it up, and threw it towards the window, about half of it breaking on the walls, but the rest flying from the tower and raining down on the town of Battleon below.

The door swung open and Natalya stood with her sword out. She saw Serras curled in the corner of the room, her legs drawn up to her chest hiding her face. She was sitting in a pool of her own blood, a stream of it running down her arms, down her chest and finally resting on the ground. Natalya ran over and tried to look at her.

"Serras? What happened? Who did this to you?!" She tried to get a response. She pulled her head back by her hair, her eyes shut, tears escaping.

"Natalya, you bitch. I was your sister... How could you do that..." She muttered half incoherent.

"What?" Natalya questioned, looking at her arms. Her wrists had two large shards of glass jammed in them, and she had a huge wood splinter driven into her chest, about where her heart is. "Holy sweet jesus! Who did this?!" Natalya's voice became shaky.

"I..." Serras started, looking down at the stake. "I think I missed..." She looked at Natalya. "Could you... take that out and try it again?" Her eyes were watering and her voice was uneasy.

"Screw that." Natalya muttered, picking up the broken shell of a woman in her arms. "I'm taking your rear to the hospital." She told her, dashing from the door.

"I... I think I missed..." Serras muttered again as they ran down the hall. "Could you... take that out and try again... please?" She repeated, her arms shaking.

"Orta!!" Natalya called, kicking the door to the infirmary open.

"What is... Holy shiitake mushrooms! What the hell happened?!" She asked, sliding her hand across a table she had set for dinner, throwing several plates crashing to the ground.

"I dunno. I heard a ruckus from upstairs, and when I got down, she was like this. The room was trashed... I don't know if she was attacked... or..."

"No, these are self-inflicted. Look at her hands." Orta muttered, pushing a rag around the stake. "Splinters. From the stake." She ran to a sink to get a pair of gloves. "She did it to herself... But why?" Orta questioned, taking a cloth from a roll. "I don't understand it." He took hold of one of the glass shards in her wrist. "Grab a cloth, and when I pull this out, cover the wound." Natalya nodded at her instructions and did as she was told. The door opened again, and Maria stepped in.

"What the hell? What's with the blood on the floor?" She asked, looking around. Natalya and Orta were blocking her view of Serras.

"Serras had a bad run in with a mirror and a bed frame." Orta muttered, pulling a turnicate out from a drawer. She used it to tie the bandage she put on her wrist down. "A very bad run-in." Maria pushed past the two.

"Holy jesus..." She muttered. "Why?" Maria put her hand on Serras' forehead.

"I... I think I missed... Could you... take that out and try again... please." Serras muttered.

"She's in shock. I don't think you'll get much outta her now." Orta finished, wrapping her other arm up. "Thankfully, Natalya got to her before she had the chance to finish up. She's safe in my care, don't worry about it."

-The Next Day-

Word of Serras' attempted suicide had spread around Battleon like wildfire. So many had their own interpretations and theories about why she would want to kill herself, but no one, not even Natalya knew the true reason. She would spend the next four days in the infirmary recovering. (She was actually ready to be released after the second day, but Orta wanted to watch her for another two, just to be sure that all of her suicidal tendencies were over.)

Natalya came in on the fourth day, just as she was getting ready to leave. She had entered slowly, just to be sure everything was alright, and that Serras held no ill towards her for saving her life. As she entered, she was surprised to see how quickly Serras was healed.

"Hey, you." The former Mage of Despair spoke as she saw Natalya. "You came at a good time. Doc Dragoon here was just giving me a clean bill of health. She told me... how you saved me." Serras muttered, lowering her head. "Thank you. I don't know what the hell was going through my head at the time."

"What happened to lead up to that?" Natalya asked, stepping forward.

"Bad dreams. Memories, really. Really, really bad memories. Of my past. And my sister." She muttered. Natalya nodded.

"She had the same name as me, didn't she." The eldest Despair asked, moving closer. Serras nodded, holding back tears.

"Nat and I were always so close. We were inseparable, you know... birds of a feather. Well... one day, I had gone out to the lake for a little swimming. It was summer, and our family wasn't very rich. Well... I found... something down in the lake. I thought I could sell it, make some quick money for my family..." She sighed, depressed.

"It was that sword, wasn't it? You found the Blade of Insight." Serras nodded.

"I was going to sell it, honest! I had no intention of keeping it. But then I started getting... attatched to it. I would carry it everywhere I went. My dad had tried to take it from me..." She lost control of her emotions, tears running free. "I... I killed him! My own father..." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "It all went downhill from there. Nat and I started growing apart... Pretty soon it was like we were complete strangers. Until that one night in Darkovia... where she finally stopped me." Natalya drew even closer and pulled Serras into an embrace. She simply accepted the guesture and closed her eyes, basking in the warmth of Natalya's body.

"That's okay. It wasn't you, Serras. It wasn't you. You didn't do anything." Natalya muttered so only she and Serras could hear. Orta simply saw herself to the door quietly.

"You look so much like Nat. Your voice... Being with you... it's almost like she's here with me now..." Serras spoke, her voice low. "Remember a couple of days ago, poker night."

"Yea, I remember."

"I said that I had a secret crush on someone... I didn't want to say this in front of your sister but..." She paused slightly. "You... you're the one I have a crush on..." She closed her eyes, expecting a rejection from Natalya. There came a pause, the kind of uneasy pause which is usually punctuated by the obligatory person in the background coughing some to break the silence. Natalya pulled away a little and held Serras at arms length. Diverting her eyes, Serras could feel the heat in her cheeks. "I understand if you don't feel the same way... I mean... I did try to kill you and your sister..." She muttered.

"Shut up you idiot, and kiss me." Natalya responded, leaning in to kiss Serras. In five hundred years, Serras had never known the passion which could be held in such a simple guesture. In five hundred years, she has never so much as smiled to another person, let alone confessed her feelings for them. It would be a ice-breaking moment for both of them.

Both had a hint of awkwardness in their stomachs. Natalya always hid her feelings from others. But, for her, this was a major relief. After all, if this had not happened, she'd have to come forward and confess. They locked lips and arms for some time, their tongues engrossed in a beautiful dance to the beat of an unknown music. Finally, they broke and held each other.

"Come on, let's go down to breakfast."

"You go." Serras muttered. "I've got to clean my room before Captain Krieger sees it. He'll blow a seven-ten cap." She finished, pulling away. Natalya nodded, and they went their seperate ways.

-Downstairs at Breakfast-

Natalya took the seat next to Maria at the table, and began to eat.

"So, how's Serras?" Maria asked, taking a huge slice out of her eggs.

"She's good. Feeling, er, better."

"Super. Did she actually go through with out bet from the other night?"

"Which one was that again?" Natalya asked, her voice shaking as she stabbed a piece of sausage.

"Aw, come on, sis. You know the one. She had to ask her crush out on a date. Remember."

"Oh, yea." Natalya chuckled nervously. "That. She did, I, er... saw. Yea, I watched her."

"Awesome! Who was it? Wait, don't tell me, it's Wolfblitzer, right? Tell me it's Wolfblitzer!" Maria almost begged.

"No, it wasn't Wolfblitzer." Natalya responded, trying to remain calm.

"Then tell me who!" Maria spoke, taking a drink from her orange juice.

"It... uh... um..." Natalya inhaled, put her knife and fork down and exhaled. "I was me." It took Maria some time, precisely four big gulps, for this statement to register with her. When if finally did, the X-Guardian expelled the contence of her mouth before her (Hitting Crystal Lion in the face.)

"Oh, motherf..." Crystal shouted, standing up to dry herself.

"WHAT?!" Maria shouted, her voice echoing in the hall. "Wait... say that again. Sorry, it sounded like you said she asked... you out." Natalya regained her composure, and started eating again.

"She did. You heard right. Why? You had a problem with that?" Natalya grinned. "Hum... I wonder if Safiria'd make a dress like Aria's... The mind wanders." Maria's face went ghost white.

"I think I'm gonna hurl."

"Don't you even THINK about puking on me, Maria Despair!" Crystal shouted. "Go outside and do that!"

"Aw, come on, Cryst. I wouldn't puke on you." Maria smiled. "No, I think that's wonderful! My sister finally got herself a play thing."

" 'Play thing' is not the phrase I'd use, Sis. More like... companion."

"Is that what they call them these days?" Wolfblitzer pipped up from behind. "Back in my day, we called them d-"

"Say what I think you're gonna, and I'm gonna smack you so hard, you won't feel it for another two weeks. And I mean that." Maria pointed a threating finger at him. He simply smiled and sat down next to Natalya. "That's what I thought." Rayne, Lizzie, Trip, Aria and Safiria were all giggling from the head of the table.


End file.
